Who needs therapy when you have Walmart?

Why do so many people choose to have their breakdowns in Walmart, or rather, why do people who have no qualms about having large arguments in public do their shopping at Walmart?

I stopped by the Mart, (haha so clever), on my way home today, and as I was browsing the cork board selection a young, slightly disheveled woman and her 4 year oldish son walked over and started looking at the decorative paper clips about 6 feet away down the aisle.

I was just about to pick the cork board that most accurately represents who I am as a person when a short young guy comes storming up and declares in a fairly loud voice:

"Well, f*@# you then if you're going to ignore me like that! You can get your own goddamn Coke!"

He then throws a set of car keys at her feet and storms off.

I glanced over to see him already halfway down the aisle. As I turned back to the cork boards I tried to imagine what must have happened to cause such a reaction. Meanwhile, the woman is telling her kid to pick up the keys and getting annoyed that he isn't doing it right away.

A couple minutes later I've decided to consider the dry erase boards instead and am still trying to piece together the scene that caused all this when he comes storming back.

Woman, "How was I ignoring you?"
Guy, "You've been ignoring me all f*#@ing day!"
Woman, "No, I wasn't."
Guy, "Bullshit, what about McDonald's?"

Guy is pretty steamed and as he storms off again with parting shots regarding the woman's "fat ass" I begin to suspect that these two might not 'make it' as a couple.

It's funny too. Because despite having a loud and fairly personal argument in a very public place, and me being only about 6 feet away, I'm guessing he's that special type of dude who would question what the hell I was looking at if he caught me glancing in their direction while this was taking place.

Man, I love Walmart. In that spirit here are some pics from the recent pages at www.peopleofwalmart.com. I like the first guy's Elvis license plate.

bar-hopping pictures

I like the transition of these pictures. It makes me seem like I am getting angrier and angrier and Shelley is getting happier and happier.

So, keep in mind also that we were sitting at a bar. And the bartender was either a little drunk or kind of dopey, so I wondered what he thought as we made these faces in his direction. How would you like to turn around and see that last picture. AAAAHHHH!

tools, tools, tools

So, I was at Home Depot yesterday, I seem to be at Home Depot almost every day, and I was drooling over a couple tools I would like to buy. Tools are funny. It's kind of like guns for guys. I'm not a hunter, and I can't say I'm much for shooting animals in general, but I still have a fascination with guns. I don't own any but if anyone invites me to go shooting I almost always go.

Tools are the same way. I use them for my work, but even if I didn't I'm sure I'd be just as interested. Seeing a wall of power tools makes my heart skip a beat. I'm not quite sure why. They are just so shiny and brightly colored, like kids' toys. Is it the potential projects you could use these tools for that draws us to them, or is it the fascination with the tools themselves and how they work? I don't know.

Even if you aren't in the trades as your main source of employment, just about everyone I know owns the following few tools: a drill, a saw of some sort, and basic hand tools (hammer, screwdriver, etc.). This is a basic collection. Some guys I know get carried away and buy tools that they will rarely if ever use or tools that they simply do not need but were just on sale. They are collectors. I also know guys whose wives are not fully aware of the extent of such a collection.

So, back to me in Home Depot. As, I was walking the aisles it struck me that if I were such a guy, and wanted to buy a tool on the sly without alerting my wife that I was buying such a luxury I could disguise my purchase because many of these tools sound like other things, parts of a truck for instance. So, I started a list. Here are some tools that, if you were so inclined, you might be able to purchase without alerting your spouse. However, after a while she might get suspicious over how many repairs your vehicle is undergoing, especially since you rarely work on it. Anyway, the list:


impact driver
compressor
air hose
powder actuated driver
Rotozip
Dremel (might not work, sort of well known)
router (could also be used as a computer term)
planer

That's all I have so far.

As a side note I would like to say I have a very patient and understanding wife, who is surprisingly strong for her size, and that I would not for a second entertain the idea of ever trying to slip something past her.

girl scout cookie attack

It's that time of year again. The girl scouts are making the rounds. I'm not normally that aware of this. Usually I'll see a group of girl scouts going door to door in a neighborhood or have a stand outside a grocery store, but this year you can't help but notice them. The fact that many of the girl scouts and their parents are dressed in cookie costumes this year is probably the main reason. But, it also seems there are more of them. It's weird. It's like they were trying to hit a recruiting quota this year.

busy, busy

Man, it's been a busy week and a half. Ty and I have been doing some volunteering and it's led to some really solid leads. Plus, we've got all these bids coming back. Funny how things just start getting so busy all of a sudden.

Anyway, should be able to get some more pics up this weekend.